Making Home Home

So usually I only blog about deep spiritual or philosophical matters but I have recently decided that maybe all my readers out there would like something a little more laid back, relaxed, and more about my life. The last part isn't so much for my readers, do not take me for being that narcissistic, but I think I would like to just vent more about more random things going on in my life rather than feeling this heavy load to write something that is going to be this monumental discovery that is going to change lives. As if I can change lives. 

Yesterday was a good day I officially moved into my apartment and made it home. The first two nights I stayed here I was the only one and it was just to move some things in. Both nights were the worst nights of sleep ever, one of which I spontaneously woke up in the middle of the night and threw up. The other I was having such a vivid dream of a man trying to chop me down with an axe, not to mention hearing weird loud noises all through out the night I was convinced this man was actually in my apartment. It felt mostly like I was staying in a cold, plain, and lonely hotel room. 

But yesterday we broke this bad boy in and made her feel like home. First off we have furniture (a great big leather couch and a lazy boy recliner) and a great 50 inch projection tv screen that is as wide as it is deep. We had our first guests over and broke the kitchen in by making a delicious meal that we went all out on and washed it down with some ridiculously good pecan pie. 

To say the least after a day of really living and sharing life with good friends and roommates in my new apartment it felt like home and I slept like a baby, keeping the man with axe at bay. 

Wisdom of Nee

Could the American individualistic thought that has plagued America since the invention of capitalism be at the core of why the modern church resembles nothing of what we see in the second testament or more importantly its lack of resemblance in the very person of Christ? 

There are many who think that they can be Christians all by themselves! But God will not allow this. Often their individual prayers are not answered, their personal study of the Scriptures does not enlighten them, and their individual seeking does not enlighten them, and their individual seeking does not lead them to God's will.

 

If such a person would say to another brother or sister, "I just cannot get through this matter by myself, would you help me" and they prayed together, he would be clear eventually. Whatever he could not understand by himself, he would see clearly when an answer was sought with his brother. 

Such a person is often still proud, thinking that he can make it by himself most of the time, and that there are only a few times when he cannot get through. 

This is individualism. In the church individualism must be broken. We must allow the Christ in us and the Christ in all the other brothers and sisters to become knit together in one Body.

one and only... Watchman Nee

Into the Wild?

This vacation I began reading the book Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer. Quick Synopsis: "In April 1992 a young man from a well-to-do family hitchhiked to Alaska and walked alone into the wilderness north of Mt. McKinley. His name was Christopher Johnson McCandless. He had given $25,000, in savings to charity, abandoned his car and most of his possessions, burned all the cash in his wallet, and invented a new life for himself. Four months later, his decomposed body was found by a moose hunter..." 

You may have seen the movie but the book reads much differently. Instead of focusing on Chris's adventure's tramping around America and highlighting the beauty he witnessed along the way the book is more of a discovery to find out who this young man was that would drop everything and anyone in search of some sort of transcendental experience in the "wild". 

I began to Journal about what it is about the connection between man and the wilderness thats seems to span time. 

This is what came out:

What is it about nature and the wilderness that calls and lures men? Lures me? Nature seems to be seen as a place to heal, meet some primordial need for adventure, and most importantly it seems to be a place we search to complete the void that haunts our lives. We are restless because we demand to live the way we were created to live, we are restless because living the way we were created to live is a mystery to most. Those that claim to possess the truth either parade around in a demeaning and demanding manor, confused by the hierarchal interpretation they have been fed through. On the other pole is those you may actually obtain the truth but have grown complacent and comfortable without sharing or truly tasting a life of risk, adventure, danger, happiness, and true fulfillment. This in mind, with no where to look in society, we take to the wild. Maybe because what we long for is ultimately to know the creator and nature provides the last unadultured view of the creator's face. 

Communal Life (Read if you are a Christian)

Here is an exert from a book I just finished called From Eternity to Here. I was going to try and sum it up but Frank Viola puts it so well I thought I would save myself the work...

This maybe one of the most ridiculously thought provoking passages on church and community that I have read to date. The Bible never gives us an exact blue print of what church is suppose to live up to, but here Frank Viola may have something.

Properly conceived, the church is a colony from heaven that has descended on earth to display the life of God's kingdom.

By its way of life, its values, and its interpersonal relationships, the church lives as a counterculture outpost of the future kingdom--a kingdom that will eventually fill the whole earth "as the waters cover the sea."

God's ultimate purpose is to reconcile the universe under the lordship of Jesus Christ (Col 1:20; Eph 1:10). As the community of the King, the church stands in the earth as the masterpiece of that reconciliation and the pilot project of the reconciled universe. In the church, therefor, the Jewish-Gentile barrier has been demolished, as well as all barriers of race, culture sex, etc. (Gal 3:28; Eph 2:16).

The church lives and acts as the new humanity on earth that reflects the community of the Godhead.

Thus when those in the world see a group of Christians from different cultures and races loving one another, caring for one another, meeting on another's needs, living against the current trends of this world that give allegiance to other gods instead of to the world's true Lord, Jesus Christ, they are watching the life of the future kingdom lived out on earth in the present. As Stanley Grenz once put it, "The church is the pioneer community. It points toward the future God has in store for his creation."

It is this "kingdom community" that turned the Roman Empire on its ear. Here was a people who possessed joy, who loved one another deeply, who made decisions by consensus, who handled their own problems, who married each other, who met one another's financial needs, and who buried on another.

This community was living in the presence of the future. It showed the world what the future kingdom of God will look like, when Jesus Christ will be running the entire show.

The church's allegiance was exclusively given to the new Caesar, the Lord Jesus, and she lived by His rule. As a result, the response by her pagan neighbors was, "Behold how they love one another!"

We live in a day when the Western church enshrined rugged individualism and independence. As such, many modern churches are not authentic communities that are embodying the family of God. Instead, they are institutional organizations that operate as a hybrid of General Motors and the Rotary Club.

The spiritual DNA of the church will always lead its members toward authentic, viable community. It will always lead its members toward authentic, viable community. It will always lead Christians to live a shared life through the Holy Spirit that expresses the life and values of Jesus Christ. In other words, it will live as the family of God.

In this way, the church becomes the visible image of the triune God. By sharing in the communion of the Father and the Son through the Holy Spirit, the church puts God's love on public display. It becomes his family in the earth in reality.

The family dimension of the church is not peripheral. It's central to the church's life and mission.

Wilderness High Lights

Key Words to My Wilderness Experience

Diversity: I was blessed to go out into the Colorado Mountians with the most diverse group of people. At face value everyone would of seemed like a well off, white, suburbuan, kid from Carmel who has everything going for them. In reality each individual and the stuff they were dealing with in their lives could not have been different from the next person.

Illogical: Thirteen high schoolers, many of which had never slept outside, two leaders, and two guides that have minimal experience and training hiking in the premiere, beautiful, and dangerous Colorado Mountains. It did not make sense for us to make it back without getting lost or seriously hurt. It rained one day. One day for mid july in Colorado is nuts! We should have been rained on every afternoon. Clouds would roll in and I would be preparing for the rain that never came. Illogical.

Honesty: Fifteen people that barely knew each other realized what it meant to be honest with themselves, each other, and most importantly with God. We sat around telling our story, telling things we had never told any one else, bringing out the crap that we hide in the depths of ourselves usually letting it eat us from the inside out. I learned that if we are to "be Jesus to the world" we need to listen to peoples' stories, dig deep, and get at their heart to discover who they really are. Jesus does this with the Samaritan women at the well. Due to our honesty, vulnerability, and the way we loved each other we became a family.

Humility: My prayer before this trip was that of John the Baptist's: "He must become greater i must become less". Man did God answer that prayer. After the night of solo's Jenna (my co-leader) and I reconvened and both had this overwhelming feeling that we were undeserving and unqualified to be in these kids lives. I have know skills, education, or experience in many of the things that the kids were experiencing. Any effort I was to put forth to counsel or improve the kids lives would have been futile. God made me the size of an ant and him and my need for him HUGE. All I could do is show up in these kids lives and point to God.

Into the Wilderness

Today I will embark on a 24 hour bus ride to a remote destination in the Colorado mountains. Once there, I will set out with 15 high schoolers with only what we can carry on our backs into the wilderness for 6 days.

Needless to say, if you think of me, pray for me.

I am so excited for many reasons about this trip.
1. I love the wilderness, colorado, hiking, and can not wait to see how much I learn and Grow.
2. There are two dudes that I spend a lot of time with that usually would go to camp this summer, but they are ready for something more challenging and I am really excited to have this awesome experience with them so early on in their high school years.

So yes. pray for me and for the kids: That we are safe but challenged and stressed to the point that we have to rely on and draw near to the lord in ways we have never experienced. Pray that bonds of friendship will be made even stronger. Most importantly pray that i can be a leader who doesnt lead at all. Pray that I can step back and allow god to do all the work. For I want to become less, and he to be become greater.

Repentance ?

I have always struggled with the idea of repentance. Not knowing what is truly means and also being scared of it for some reason or another. I tend to avoid it because I don't understand it totally in either Biblical or experiential terms.

This quote better helped me rap my mind around why repentance is not only necessary but a vital component to a follower's growth as we strive to become more like Jesus.

"Repentance means turning away from darkness to light. We must name and accept our sin, understand that it remains within us, and use it as a spur to another kind of existence." Chris Hedges

This quote was taken from Hedges book called Losing Moses on the Freeway. I encourage anyone who is interested, intrigued, confused, or ignorant of the 10 Commandments application to society NOW they should pick up this book.